Sure, why not

Today we reach into the Dirty Dialogue mailbag and pull out a couple of questions from our readers.  How much fun is THAT?!

Looks like some girls had questions about my good ol’ Dirty Diary…

Lets go over it, shall we?

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“I read the first Dirty Diary you sent!  It was good, but I don’t know if I got the message behind it.

I understand that she wanted to have sex that night and he didn’t know it was gonna happen and that she new what to say and do to get him in the mood and that she got him turned on enough to make it last until they both couldn’t do it anymore.

Was there more to it than that?”

-Ashley

===

Well Ashley, You’re most certainly on the right track.

There is one key element that you missed.  This element is so subtle that its no surprise that it may have been overlooked.

But don’t worry, you’re not alone.  (The story was designed to leave you guessing).

The subtlety here is one that exposes a universal trait amongst men.  Its something that, no matter what kind of man he is or what he finds “physically” attractive, will hit him at his most primal core.

Now, if you notice the theme of this story, the boyfriend is the kind of guy who likes to be in control (as most men do).  He expected the same ol’ thing from his girlfriend.

(This is VERY common amongst couples in relationships…you know, slipping into routine patterns and falling into mundane expectations of each other.)(This also kills sexual attraction at a deep level.  Nothing routine is exciting.  Ever.  In fact, the “Spark” that we all try so desperately to keep alive is born of pure spontaneity and discovering new things.  Routine = boring = not sexy).

But this time, she broke the mold.

Not only did she “break” the mold, but she INSTIGATED something new an exciting (in herself of course) which he instantly picked up

on…before any words what so ever.

Notice how in the car she took control of the situation.  She OWNED the interaction.  And she did this by INSTIGATING the vibe and

taking things sexual quickly (hence grabbing his cock and whispering in his ear).

The result?  He felt enslaved by her primal feminine desires…which ignited his deep, lustful craving to ravage her as soon as humanly

possible.

Here’s the bottom line:  Instigating (i.e. Stepping up and taking control, without any fear of judgment, pain or embarrassment…the

subtlety in question) displays an undeniable surge of confidence that no man can resist.

This requires 2 things.

We call these “Inner” and “Outer” Game.

Inner Game consists of a solid core sexual confidence that exists outside of social conditioning (i.e. everything you’ve been told is

right or wrong your entire life…especially focusing on what you “should” and “shouldn’t” do sexually out of fear of judgment by

others).

Inner game comes from knowing exactly what it is you want, but its easier said then done.  Building up this core confidence is not an

overnight process.  Its all internal, and all takes time.

Outer Game, on the other hand, are the things you can do and say RIGHT AWAY to get the results you are looking for.  These are the

answers to the “What do I say?” questions I hear all the time.

Outer Game is actually a skill set you can learn and apply instantly.  But its by no means “good” enough by itself.

Using lines and tactics will give you short term results, but building that inner feminine core confidence is what really matters

in the long run.  This is done by using “Outer Game” tactics as training wheels to build comfort and confidence through repetitive

action.

Ok, next caller!

===

“My man knows how to talk dirty to me and he’s great a phone sex. He asked me to participate and he wanted me to talk about sucking his penis.I have to admit that I was scared and plus I got stuck with the scenario.

I need your help because I’m not sure what to say and I don’t want to sound stupid because I think he’ll pick on me later about it. I do

have an imagination but I’m not sure what I should say in refers to sucking his penis, especially what to call it.  What should I say?”

-Wanda

===

Hey Wanda, thanks for your question…believe it or not, this question is VERY important.

Its extremely common to be at a lack for words when talking dirty.

Especially if you are a bit intimidated by your mans obvious mastery of the “dirty talk” language.

But here’s the thing:  Every man is different.

You see, Wanda, you are actually in a great situation.  You’re man is already participating in dirty talk.  He’s the one instigating

it over the phone.

Imagine if he wasn’t?  Imagine if he said he wanted you to talk dirty to him WITHOUT starting it up himself?  That would be much

more intimidating, wouldn’t it?

Instead, he’s already given you all the clues you need to step up and say all the naughty things he’d like you to say.

This is important:  Since every man is different, every man wants to hear something different.

Men (just like women) have different triggers that set them off.

Some men would like you to call his penis a “cock” while others would want to hear you call it his “dick” or “shaft.”

Saying the wrong thing could be a serious turn off.

But lucky for you, he’s already told you!

What word does he use to refer to his penis?  What does he say to YOU?

Does he use the word Cock?  Dick? Shaft? Etc Ect?

Whatever word he uses to refer to his own penis is the exact word you must use when referring to his penis yourself.  Your man has stepped up and taken control of the interaction (as most men do) which makes it much easier for you to play along.

(As opposed to instigating it yourself as in the story above.  THAT is where the long road of practice and experience truly pays off on

your end.  However, getting to that point on your own is not an easy task.  That’s why I’m here to help you).

But for the time being, consider yourself a step ahead of the rest.

Mirror the language he uses and say it back to him.

Let him lead and play along.  That’s what he wants right now, and that’s all he expects.  Once you really start the “Dirty Dialogue” things will snowball into an even hotter, more intimate experience that will take your relationship to new heights.

As for “what to say” in reference to giving him a blowjob, simply provide a commentary for what you *want* to do to him, step by step.

Phone sex is all about painting a pleasing picture in your man’s mind for him to visualize while he’s masturbating.  The more detailed you

make it, the easier it will be for him to play the mental movie in his mind, letting his imagination do all the work for you.

Start off by saying “I want to” and start describing what it is you want to do as if you were actually doing it.  You can also ask him

“You like when I ___?” which will always get a positive response, especially if you already know that he likes it!

The same goes for “You want me to ___?” if you already know that he wants you to do it.  Its a win/win that can’t lose.

But what are you doing?  Are you licking? kissing? sucking?swallowing?  And if you are, what part are you doing it to?

His head?  His shaft?  The tip?  Be specific with what it is you are describing to him, he’ll go nuts lol that’s just the way men work

If you REALLY want to get insanely good at phone sex in a very short amount of time, pick up a copy of my new ebook and the 3 bonuses:

=>Dirty Dictionary:  The Definitive Guide To Dirty Talk Words And Phrases

Every answer for “what to say” and “how to say it” is found in this guide. (Hint – It was almost a stand-alone product by itself, but its yours

for free when you pick up my ebook risk free today)

=>Dirty Delivery:  77 Sexy Text Messages Guaranteed To Blow His Mind!

If you want to follow up your phone sex with some ultra-hot hyper-sexy text messages, this is going to be invaluable to you…and a whole

lotta fun ;-P

And, most importantly in your case…

=>Dirty Dialing:  Instant Phone Sex Fantasy Guide For Long Distance Lust!

Dirty Dialing has a 10 page phone sex script that will absolutely knock his socks off very quickly…and has simple instructions for creating your own

phone sex persona that will make your phone sex sexy, authentic, and something he will never forget.

For more info, click here:

=>Learn More About Dirty Dialogue By Clicking Here Now

Even if you decide to return the ebook, you still can keep all 3 of the bonuses – FREE!

Go get him girl!

===

Wanda brings up an excellent point that I would like to share with you.

It’s one thing to look for “Dirty Talk Lines” or examples of talking dirty that other people have used and been successful with, but its

another thing to know exactly what it is your man wants to hear.

To REALLY get him going, you must know what words turn HIM on.

Flipping the right switches can turn him on faster then a light bulb.  Its up to you to discover what those switches are.

Fortunately, I have a really good friend who is working on an easy way to do this, right now.  This is a friend with 2 PhD’s and is a

full time sexuality coach who has changed the lives of thousands of people across the globe.

But more on that next time.  Right now its time for me to sign off.

But before I go, I would love to ask you something.  Think of the one person you feel could benefit the most out of what you learned

today and picture them in your mind.  This is the girl who you KNOW is on the same path as you are in developing your sexuality to the

upmost and fullest extent.

Got it?

Awesome.  Now, if you feel you DID learn something today, or that there is something THEY could learn from it, please share your comment
below and post this blog to your favorite social network site!

I’m sure she’d appreciate it

Thank you SO MUCH for spreading the word and sharing what we have going on here.  I hope you and her both enjoy this as much as I love to write it.

Stay Dirty,

Devian Day

Today we’re gonna talk about the concept of a “Dirty Diva”, which when fully understood, can radically change the way you approach talking dirty forever.

Learning how to talk dirty to your man means learning how to embrace the Dirty Diva within.  In fact, all dirty talk examples you may find are of women whom have already unleashed their inner freak and are comfortable expressing themselves by talking dirty like a champion.  Reaching a level of Dirty Diva mastery can happen faster than you ever dreamed possible, if you understand what makes these dirty talk examples tick.

There are three steps to embracing your dirty diva:

1) Confidence:

Examples of talking dirty to a man without confidence can range from experiencing minor embarrassment to a full blown frozen “dear in headlights” feeling of total paralysis.  Most women who start learning how to talk dirty to a man they’re dating (or married to) and have trouble being confident because they are afraid of their man having a negative reaction to their dirty talk.

These women find comfort in knowing this one simple fact:  Talking dirty to your man as a reaction to your OWN sexual pleasure is often times all a man needs to feel validated as a good lover in bed.  This means that your dirty talk not only gives HIM confidence, but is what he looks for to find out if he’s good enough for YOU.

2)      Charisma:

Dirty talk examples in dirty talking diva’s always exude a tantalizing level of charisma.  Learning how to talk dirty means you get to slip into a new role and take on a new character with your man in bed.  Examples of talking dirty with charisma include the mind set you’re in, the image you poise, the sultry tones you use with a soft, breathy voice, and your overall ability to maintain your dirty talk smoothly from your first word to his orgasm.

Some women find it hard at first to maintain their dirty talk charisma because they may feel “stupid” saying certain dirty talk phrases when talking dirty to their man.  This happens because these women have internal self-judgment mechanisms that thwart her attempts before she can open her mouth.  This is nothing more than out-dated mental programming that can be changed as long as you are willing to commit to making a positive change in your life.

3)      Character:

A Dirty Diva is a woman of strong sexual character, in which case talking dirty to a man is merely a means of uninhibited self expression.  When learning how to talk dirty to a man it is important to build your Dirty Diva character.  Call it a mask, an avatar, or just a role that you play – your inner Dirty Diva is an improved and more sexually advanced version of yourself.

Talking dirty can be a great way to start building your Dirty Diva.  If you were perfect as a lover, what would you say?  What would SHE say?  Realize you can talk dirty to your man and say all the things your inner Dirty Diva would say without any special permission from your man.  Try out new things and develop your Dirty Diva alter-ego, and your man is sure to notice, and notice fast.  Be his muse and inspire him.

As you learn how to talk dirty to your man, keep the idea of your inner Dirty Diva in mind.  Build your confidence, charisma, and character through talking dirty to your man by trying out new things, taking what works, and discarding what doesn’t.  Soon enough you will reach a level of mastery in your dirty talk to me.

There are three most important things you must know about a man’s sexuality that apply at every mans primal sexual core.

Men are:

1)    Born To Give

2)    Naturally Dominant

3)    Logically Stimulated

Born to Give:

On a biologic level, a man’s purpose is to give his seed to a woman.  This translates to the urgent need to get a woman to her most fertile state, which “coincidentally” is orgasm. Thus, a man’s immediate goal is to take action towards attaining his goal – you’re pleasure.  He is physically and subconsciously born to please you, and give you his sexual energy the best he can.

Naturally Dominant:

A man wants to lead a sexual interaction right from the start.  Socially, it is a man’s duty to approach a woman he is interested in, and in turn, the woman puts herself in a position of being “taken” by him.  This behavior goes even deeper in the bedroom, where he fully dominates you and you fully surrender to sexual passion.  The height of his masculine drive comes out when he is in most dominant form.

Logically Stimulated:

A man’s mind is much like a computer, in that it takes literal direction and interprets things with logic.  Women tend to communicate on a much more subtle and emotional level, which is something that most men just can’t totally understand.  When you beat around the bush, he gets confused.  Especially in the bedroom.

Speaking to his logical mind directly is the fastest and easiest way for him to quickly process information.  This may seem counterintuitive for women at first, but once they “crack the code” it becomes an effortless mind game with you in control.

So lets think about that for a minute….

What does it mean?

Well, for one thing, it means that YOU are in control.  He’s the one who naturally chases YOU…so you get to use that to your advantage.

Since he’s born to give, he wants to please you.  Sharing your pleasure makes him a very happy boy, so be as expressive as you possibly can.

Since he’s naturally dominate, surrender yourself to him.  His inner caveman will wake up and take control.  But, only do so once he’s EARNED it

Lastly…since he’s logically stimulated, speak directly to his conscious and logical mind.

That’s where good dirty talk comes in.  The ability to verbally communicate your active wants, desires, and pleasure in a way that his logical mind can instantly recognize and understand.

So try it out:  Play with his logical mind a bit, and see what happens.  Use these three principles the next time you talk dirty to your man and I promise it will be waaaay easier

Stay Dirty,

Devian Day

Ok…watch this video and tell that this man is serious.

“Ding Ding Dong?”  Is that what he calls his penis?  And look how serious he might be about (hint – this dude is from sweeden, and I actually saw him in concert once lol.  He’s a cult phenomena and no one has any idea if he’s for real.)

If you listen to this song enough, you will accept “ding ding dong” as a name for a penis, and it doesn’t seem so weird anymore.

Thats the point here – You can make anything sexual as long as you repeat it with your man over and over, and constantly associate that word with the sexual thing you’re trying to communicate.

Something hilarious to think about when you’re learning how to talk dirty to your mnan.  Not to mention, you can always think of this song and it will break the ice in your own head anytime you’d like!

Check it out…

If you know anything about talking dirty to a man, you know how powerful your voice can be.

What you say (at time) doesn’t matter nearly as much as how you say it.

This, of course, is actually during the act of sex…when you’re in the “zone” and your breathless lust takes you captive into complete surrender to pleasure…

…when your screaming passion bellows a shriek of sheer ecstasy…

…and you’ve built up so much sexual arousal that nothing else matters at all.

In essence, this uncontrollable – loud and proud – display of sexual pleasure trump’s “talking dirty” 10-fold. It’s the reactive moans…the screams…and the luscious tones emanating from your mouth in a seductive siren’s song.

It’s the heart of orgasmic expression.

And its something you already have, it just “comes out” in the heat of passion when as you escalate towards orgasm.

However…

Some women find it hard to connect with their “orgasmic” self for various reasons. It’s an issue of letting go of self judgment and stop monitoring and editing your thoughts while in the moment, which can be difficult to overcome quickly.

But, have you ever heard of “fake it till you make it?”

(Basically this means to act “as if” you’re already there until your subconscious filtration system accepts the new sexual “you.”)

And what better place to start then faking an orgasm?

(Not with your man, of course…that’s thin ice you don’t want to skate on. This is about connecting with him, not pretending to experience something you’re not)

Instead, fake it by yourself.

Need an example? Watch as Meg Ryan fakes an orgasm in public….in the famous film “When Harry Met Sally”

Take a look…

Notice how she doesn’t care – at all – what the people in the restaurant think about her…let alone what Billy Crystal’s character thinks about how she’s behaving.

Infact, he’s in such shock that he’s instantly captivated by her presence and the courage she just displayed.

Lesson: Displaying confidence and really putting yourself “out” there is incredibly attractive…especially when you are not holding on to the outcome of your actions and instead just enjoying what you’re doing in the moment.

Mission – Fake an orgasm with a friend.

Get together with your most sexually liberated girlfriend (you know who she is already) and ask her if she’s ever faked an orgasm when you’re alone – in private, in a car, outside when no one’s around – and turn it into a game of “who’s the loudest.”

Make it fun to alleviate nerves and really put your heart into it. You’ll be amazed at how incredible it will make you feel.

When you’re done, leave a comment below and tell me about your experience. I’d really like to hear about what happened!

Stay Dirty,

Devi D

PS.  I just finished the first 20 pages of Dirty Dialogue’s Tactical section…and i have to say…i stumbled upon some really powerful insights into talking dirty.

More then you’d expect, thats for sure.

Stay tuned for more updates.  We’ll be launching a poll very soon as well.  I’ll make sure to let you know as soon as that happens!