8:35 PM
Small mountain town, Colorado
“I’m a…slaaaave, your you.” – Brittany Spears

Howdy,

You know, things between a man and a woman can be really intense sometimes.  I would know, my relationships have been so intense that I couldn’t possibly imagine it any other way.

There’s good intensity, and bad intensity.  Both can shock your emotions with massive spikes of feelings that leave a lasting impression on you and your partner.

Good intensity is the best, of course.  It’s the most positive.  It’s when someone takes it upon themselves to step-up and be PRO ACTIVE to cause a major blast of positive intensity in their sex life.

Meet Gina, an 18 year old girl with more sexual motivation than I’ve ever seen in my life.  And, for all the right reasons.

Gina came to me asking for help to master the last part of her sexual self conquest – dirty talk.  She’s with the same man who she gave her virginity to and wanted to plan something “special” for her experience with him.

Her story was so compelling that I just had to get involved.  The following is the first part of our conversation:

Hey it’s Gina,

You told me to take five minutes to answer why I took the time out, and want to know how to “talk dirty” to my boyfriend. And well I have to admit that the first answer was so I can please him fully, but then I was wondering why I wanted to do that.

I got another answer. I think that in knowing I am pleasing him I would feel both empowered and sexy. The thought that I can blow him out of his mind is so tempting and amazing and I would love to know how. I want him to when he’s surrounded by pretty girls, look at them knowing none of them can please him the way I can.

Right now he’s 19 and in college and I’m just starting college next year, I’m 18. We’ve been together for 10months now  and have been through our share of ups and downs. I plan on staying with him for a while and I could honestly see myself spending the rest of my life with him. He says he’s wants to marry me and although i am far from having marriage even cross my mind, I do want to stay with him & pleasing him in bed is important to me. He was my first (I was a virgin when we got together) so naturally it took a while for me to feel confident and in control while we had sex.

Even still, I have a lot to learn. I think I have fully mastered a lot of what your books have taught me. I learned how to tease him and give him chills. I learned how to give a good lap dance and have him beg for me. I’ve even mastered oral sex. It’s the “dirty talk” that I have to master next. I feel that it would really take things to the next level.

I am Colombian and he is American. He gets a kick when I speak to him in spanish during sex. He also loves when I call him “daddy” or “papi” during sex. I feel like I’m just steps away from mastering “dirty talk”, but I  don’t know the words to use. PLLEEASSE HELP!

If you could help me by coming up with some phrases or words or suggestions it would be great!

Gina

My Reply:

Dear Gina,

I LOVE your enthusiasm and drive here.  It’s highly honorable and exactly the right type of attitude it takes to fully master your sexual being.

I wanted to take a moment and point out a couple things that I got from your email that have really peaked my interest.  These are things that, if communicated through your dirty dialogue, will hit him hard at his masculine core:

I think that in knowing I am pleasing him I would feel both empowered and sexy.

This mindset is right on the money.  This is about YOU, not just him and his needs.  Fully embrace yourself in this selfish power and use it to fuel you to increase the levels of intensity you experience every time you’re with him.  But, in doing so, you need to communicate that to him.  Here’s an example:

“Nothing makes me feel sexier than satisfying you every desire Papi.  I’m here to please you.”

Use your own variation.  The point is your essentially saying that pleasing him brings you great pleasure and that by allowing you to please him, he is satisfying you deeply.  In doing so you are putting him in a position of great power of his own.

(Note – This is also why he likes being called “Papi” because it indicates a position of power and authority over you)

I was a virgin when we got together

This is very important and has waaaaay more power in it that than you could possible understand at 18 years old.  This is your first and only man, which is your only reference experience to sex and essentially, all you know.  Being your first, there is a very pure connection in which your real innocence has been inadvertently crossed.  It’s a connection that everyone has with their “first” that stays only with that person.

In other words, your level of devotion trumps that of the vast majority of other women alive today.

Use this to your advantage.  Actually, I think you have already by wanting to “master” everything sexual.  This is the type of nitro-fuel that is very unique to your situation.

Use this energy when asking him questions about what he wants you to do to him.  The most direct and easiest of questions would simply be:

“Do you like when I __(action)___  your ___(body party)____?”

(Ex.  This could be “suck your cock” or “ride your dick” or “lick your balls” etc)

With your gleaming devotion and genuine concern, asking these types of question with a willingness to perform eagerly is sexual dynamite.  This is especially useful when actually performing the sexual act itself.

For example, if you are giving him a blowjob, look him deep in the eyes and say “You like when I suck your cock Papi?” there is no possible way he could ever say or think “no”.  Make sure to ask this question with an “upward sloping” tonality (otherwise known as “seeking approval”…the more submissive way you would approach a boss with a question, rather than demanding an answer).  This, again, puts him in a position of power.

He gets a kick when I speak to him in Spanish during sex

Awesome.  The reason most guys love to hear a girl speak in another language during sex is because we have absolutely no idea what you are saying, but the passion and pleasure communicated through your native language is riving and sexy as hell.  Above all, for a man to watch a woman lose control and express her pleasure through her tonality like a sweet siren’s song, is extremely erotic.

Why?  Because we know inside that it is US that are causing you to lose control that way.  It’s a selfish male ego thing.  We are the master and are capable of pleasing you beyond measure (and, since he can’t understand your language, there’s no way to measure other than the energy you put off).  Go with that, but for your benefit, only pull it out when you want to give things an extra “kick”.  Don’t show all of your cards at once, all the time.  Holding this extra icing-on-the-cake back and only using it as your “secret weapon” most certainly gives you an ace up the sleeve.

I wanted to thank you again for your interest and your long emails.  It’s stuff like this that really keeps me going, knowing I can help.  So thank you

Stay Dirty,

Devian Day

Now, at this point I had sent Gina one of my PDF products “Dirty Talk Power Phrases” that just went on sale as part of Dirty Dialogue’s new “Gold” Package upgrade.  More on that later.

Here’s her reply:

Wow hey. Its Gina.

Thank you so much for your time to respond so thoroughly like that. I didn’t expect you to be so detail focused and I can’t thank you enough! I am soooo excited to try out what you suggested and even use some of the phrases in the PDF you sent. I feel so happy. I’ve had the will this whole time I just needed the phrases. It was even fun to find out I had used some of the phrases before.

I tried sampling some in text messages to see how he would respond and INSTANTLY i got the reaction I’d hoped for!

He said “what’s gotten into you;)..” and proceeded to tell me how he wanted me to “exhaust him” and how he wanted to “enjoy me” and even told me what he wanted me to do more of and what he’s been wanting to try. Seriously it worked like a charm and I have a smile from ear-to-ear. I don’t even know you and I feel like I want to run up and hug you. THANK YOU.

THANKS SO MUCH. My boyfriend comes home for the holidays in two weeks and I’m so excited to spend these two weeks preparing for the biggest shock and best surprise of his life lol. If you give me more suggestions, you could help me prepare for these two weeks. If you’re up for it, it could be like an experiment. Teach me what you know, help me get ready, and I’ll tell you how it all goes in detail.

Thanks again,
With much enthusiasm and staying dirty,
Gina

Like I said, this girl is DEVOTED and I love every second of it.  Now, it looks like we may just hear more from Gina in the near future.  Stay Tuned!

Stay Dirty,

Devian Day

PS.  I just launched a new web page for my ebook “Dirty Dialogue:  A Good Girl’s Guide To Being Bad” that I believe is a WAY better reflection of what Dirty Dialogue is all about (and has gotten a MUCH better response).

Take a look for yourself:  DirtyDialogue.com/ebook

See you soon!

Tags: confidence, dirty dialogue, female sexuality, how to talk dirty to my boyfriend, intimacy, relationships, sexual pleasure, talking dirty to men